What Is Your Home Worth In Terms Of Bacon

Dated: 01/07/2016

Views: 537

Dollar bills. Cash. Moolah. Cheddar. Dough.  


 Whatever you call it, cash is king all over the world. No credit, no IOUs, no interest rates. Just cold, hard, cash. 


But since the majority of the world can't just throw down $250k cash on a house in the blink of an eye, we have banks stake us when we find a home we love and want to drop an offer on the table.  


But what if the banks decided they didn't want to hand out anymore money? What would you do?How would you get the equity out of your home that you spent so long building up?  


The answer is simple and as old as time itself... barter!  


Bartering is the oldest exchange of good and services known to man, so it pays to know what your home would be worth in some other forms. Here is a list things you can trade a $150,000 home for that are dollar for dollar matches: 


Bacon -Who wouldn't barter for some bacon? You may end up in the food coma of a lifetime, but you would definitely have no trouble re-trading a stockpile of bacon. At $6.11/lb, you could trade up for 24,450 pounds of bacon. Oink.


Gold - In all seriousness, Gold can be a good investment. Just don't grow a 3 foot beard and move to Alaska to get it. Those guys are professionals and you should not do what they do. Ever. At $1,080/oz, you could trade for about 8.75 lbs of gold. You can also change your name to King Midas. 


Plutonium - Just because. Hopefully you will never be able to find it, but you never know when some weapons grade plutonium might come in handy. In the event that you do acquire this, wear gloves. At $4,000/g, you can buy just over 2.3 lbs of Plutonium. Yikes.


Coffee -For those coffee addictions that just can't seem to be held at bay, this one will really start your engine. Even though Starbucks charges an arm and a leg for their exotic blends, buying in bulk from international distributors will net you a nice pay day. At $1.75/lb, you'll need to clear out your garage for the 85,714 lb. supple of java coming your way.


Beluga Caviar - This one might be a little more obscure unless you're into this kinda thing, or if you've seen any James Bond movie with a Russian villain. Fish eggs as a delicacy are insanely expensive, with Beluga Caviar being the Rolls Royce of the market. At $5,000/lb, you can be snacking on 30 lbs. of your very on caviar. Bon appetit. 


Scorpion Venom - As awful and terrifying as this one sounds, there are actually therapeutic benefits to scorpion venom. Rheumatoid Arthritis and MS patients benefit from using the venom in their treatments to treat certain conditions associated with the diseases. I hear you can apply for the position of "Venom Harvester" if you're REALLY interested...At $39 million per gallon, you'll sneak out with .03% of a gallon, or just under half an ounce. 

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